I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
