Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
