I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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