Cold hands, warm shart.
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
