I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
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Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
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He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I did not marry a roomba.
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