:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
