mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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