i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
