I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
