I bet he comes in French.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
