If that was your dad, he is hot
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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