It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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