Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Sext me about skeletons
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize