this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
