I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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