If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
