epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
