if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm both gender and math confused
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
