at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
