Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Randomize
