he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
