i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
