And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
