Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
