Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I cockslap morals
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
