we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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