I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
