I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
