Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
