Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
