I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
