Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I think I just shit out all my problems.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize