That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We talked him into tasing himself.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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