i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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