I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
