we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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