so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize