btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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