i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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