bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Randomize
