Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
party gras won. party gras always wins.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
