Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
