I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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