I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
