Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
How's work?
Spinning.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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