dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
