We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
