there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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