I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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