does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Where did you get a picture of my penis
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
