I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
