I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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