he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
