Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
